
There is a movie Not Without My Daughter. It is about an American woman who marries an
Iranian doctor staying in the US. All remains well when they are in the US but
situation changes drastically when they move to Iran. The husband becomes
abusive overnight and the mother and daughter are trapped in an alien culture
that has very little liberty for women. I had watched this movie long back. Also
picked up the book after watching the movie (but somehow could not finish it).
Obviously, I was moved by the movie. Half of the world was. The portrayal of
Betty by Sally Field was pretty convincing. The movie was also successful is
building a strong negative reputation of not only Iran but also her husband Dr.
Mahmoody and Iranian men in general. And Betty was apparently on a pedestal for
being an ideal Mom who could (and did) almost literally move mountains (she
claims to cross over very difficult mountain terrain) to get her daughter away
from an abusive husband. I was in awe of the movie and Betty. That was till I
read Lost Without My Daughter by Sayed Mahmoody, the real husband of Betty
Mahmoody.
Dr Mahmody brings out the flaws in Betty’s claims (in the
book and the movie) and counters each point methodically. And he does convince
the reader to a large extent. On more than one occasions, I chided myself for
naively believing Betty’s side of the story and ignoring the obvious flaws.
Though I am still not sure whom to believe, I think Dr. Mahmoody claims (and
counter claims) seem more real and sensible to me. Not without my daughter did
have an overdose of emotional drama which makes the reader/viewer vulnerable.
But why did Moody wait so long to defend himself. The book
and the movie had done a lot of damage not only to him but also to Iran’s
reputation. He said he wanted to reach his daughter through this book, but I
guess his efforts were too little and too late. If his claims are to be
believed, it is saddening to see how a huge lie like Betty’s could be sold with
some good emotional packaging. But you have to read both the sides to reach a logical
decision for yourself.
Although the author’s analytical writing more or less keeps
the interest alive, there are some blatant drawbacks. The editing is very poor
and looks like it has not been proofread at all. Author includes a lot of
socio-political description of the times. Sometimes it did help in
understanding the bigger picture but more often it distracted from the original
plot. I am not sure I would have completed this one if I had not watched the
movie.
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